Being an only child has its advantages and disadvantages, assuming you come from a normal family. But if both of your parents are suffering or suffered from psychological dysfunction, it can take its toll. Be careful you don’t go mad or are driven to suicide.
Money talks, bullshit walks as the cliche goes. I”ve been fortunate enough that each time there is a need for a not-so-regular amount to pay for an extraordinary expense, the cash is always there.
But Philippine society has evolved to the point that the changing environment has made it more difficult for families to go about their daily lives because house help rates have gone up to unaffordable levels if you’re starting out with a family. Only the rich can afford a bevy of domestic specialists nowadays; cook, laundry woman, cleaning lady, driver and bodyguard.
The man in the office at the Loyola Memorial Park is a native of Bohol. He “migrated” to Metro Manila in 1992. Marami kaming lupa sa Bohol sir caso ang hirap mag-trabaho ng lupa. Kulang sa kalye nun. Putik palagi. Pero kung yung lupa namin andito sa Manila, mayaman kami.
Ngayon sir ang mga tao sa Bohol ayaw na mag-trabaho ng lupa. Nag marino na sila. Mas malaki kita. Wala na mag-tanim. Mag-sakay na lang sila barko.
My mother began her death spiral on December 30. I was surprised to hear her talking to herself. I looked inside her room and she put herself inside the extra-large balikbayan box. She began a monologue. After that it was a psychotic episodes of hallucinations with shouting. It was like she was being possessed by an evil spirit.
Two days earlier, she was lucid and ambulatory. We even went to UCPB to collect her monthly pension. She was nearly blind in her left eye due to glaucoma and had a colostomy due to her colon cancer surgery in 2000. The shouting only ended early Monday morning. She asked to be lifted out of the box and onto the bed. I thought she was going to back to normal behavior again but no. She lay on the floor and refused to go back to the bed.
She also stopped eating. She took her dentures out. She also trashed her room that Thursday. It was obvious she had gone into a rage.
Hospice care is P35,000 per month for a ward bed and P45,000 per month for a private room. Three meals plus an afternoon merienda. A professional caregiver is minimum P25,000 per month. A stay-out untrained helper is anywhere between P7,000 – P10,000 per month, if you can find one.
My head was spinning. I definitely couldn’t afford the hospice care. It was hard to find a helper who would be willing to take care of an 81 year old with a colostomy. I couldn’t take her to the hospital because of the Omicron surge. It was hard to find a psychiatric teleconsult after several calls to doctor-friends for referrals.
My mother finally quieted down but she couldn’t eat anymore. She couldn’t even sip Ensure. I finally found a helper who would start work today but after I got home from looking for one, she passed away.
Cremation is anywhere between P40,000 – P50,000 after the senior discount. I paid P53,000 for the Loyola Memorial package which still had me processing the death certificate. Nowadays you need to have a doctor sign the certificate attesting that it wasn’t due to Covid. Else, the process gets more complicated.
The funeral home fills out the application with the information you provide them. You then proceed to the City Health Office to get the certificate processed. It’s ministerial. In Marikina it’s P300. You then go to the civil registry office for the registration and the certified true copy of the death certificate. This is for direct cremation. It is a bit different if there is to be a wake.
The Marikina Civil Registry is located in a brand new four-storey building within the City Hall complex. All work stations have computers but believe it or not, entries are still done in logbooks. This is why the process takes long. You wonder why LGUs haven’t undertaken digitization projects to make it easier for both them and their constituents to interact in the pandemic is endemic phase. There is also the matter of having to go from one office to the other. Why can’t LGUs design city or municipal hall complexes in one location to make it more convenient for their constituents to transact with the same? What is the City Planning and Development Office for?
Two years into the pandemic and LGUs haven’t adjusted to the exigencies it has brought. Their ability to deliver basic services is hampered by the number of employees testing positive. This is happening because people have to physically go to the offices for transactions.
Our lawmakers should start addressing the issue of elderly care. The extended family which used to be the backbone of those who are starting out as husband and wife is no more unless they’re a rich family. This may still be the practice in the provinces but in the city’s, it’s not the case anymore. LGUs can be proactive through the Office of Senior Citizen’s Affairs but you don’t see Councilors introducing local legislation.
What is glaring is how high Covid case counts can be prevented if only digitization had been fast-tracked by LGUs and the national government departments and agencies.
Thus, it’s important that we choose our elected officials very well. We should ask them for platforms and plans of action and stop being content with motherhood statements.
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